At Least We Can Still Be Friends

You’ve been dating someone for a couple of weeks now; secure enough to mindless babble around them, which honestly is just the tip of the iceberg of weird qualities you have to offer. You have intellectually stimulating conversations; maybe dabble in discussing theories, and sharing personal stories.

He kisses you goodnight and it takes you literally all your will not to strip down right then and there. Because classy girls wait to have sex, right?

Now you’ve trapped yourself in this lustful phase, entirely clouded by your emotions. You’re becoming completely oblivious and infatuated with this idea of love. You daydream about your next date together and the possibility of this lasting. The endearing moments to come: midnight picnics at the beach, morning sex and pancakes, the adventures and laughs you’ll share.

This crimson love, which seemingly melts your heart and fills your mind, turns into worrying, deciphering, over analyzing. You’ve fabricated this feeling of affection and built it so high that the reality of the idea is unattainable. After having sex a couple of times, your conversations become static and you ultimately are… just friends.

The romantic picture-book association with love is beginning to inhibit us from letting it evolve naturally. Rather than taking the situation for what it is, there is a fixed ideal of what it should be. The process of coming to terms with the reality of the situation can be trivial. There’s this hope that looms over you, obstructing your vision to see the actuality of the circumstances. Not every person you meet is going to be your life partner; rather than dwelling on why you’re not in a long-term relationship, enjoy every person and date for what it is. This allows the relationship to develop and grow organically, rather than making it out to be something it clearly is not. Maybe this person has qualities you find attractive that you will want in a life partner, but other qualities not so much. Although you didn’t find love, you’re one step closer.

And when in doubt, at least you can still be friends.



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